Oh look! It’s almost as though I wrote a blog called Frequently Asked Questions and then realised six weeks later that I ought to include a Frequently Asked Questions section.
Can I come and visit you before you go to hospital?
I’m afraid I probably won’t have any opportunity for that, no, unless I’ve specifically invited you, in which case you are probably the dentist come to deal with that lost filling. But thank you to everyone who’s asked :)
Can I come and visit you after you leave hospital?
That depends on how much of me they’re able to scrape off the floor once it’s all finished, but I don’t expect to be visitable for weeks if not months if not a limited lifetime afterwards.
Can I come and visit you in hospital?
Well… no. I would like it, but it’s very unlikely I’ll be able to. Obviously if you are Cate Blanchett or look like her and you’re in town that day, like from Manchester or something, I’ll be delighted to have you visit Even If It Kills Me.
When, where and for how long are you going?
The NHNN – National Hospital for Neurology and Neurosurgery, Queen Square. Provisional plan is an overnight admission during the last week of March (2014).
Is there anything I can do to help?
What tests will you be having?
EEG, ECG, nerve conduction studies, and “possibly” an MRI. I don’t know what that possibly depends on; it’s the one I’d most like to see.
Will you keep your fascinated public updated from the hospital?
Probably I will because I’m fidgety and compulsive, but PLEASE don’t write back anything that invites a response from me.
What do you think is wrong with you?
Well, I hope it’s not mitochondrial, because that seems intractable and not especially reversible.
The best (by which I mean the most elegant and convincing) of the brain-type theories I’ve seen is Ashok Gupta’s, which you can find at
http://www.guptaprogramme.com/causes-of-me/ (academicish paper)
This kind of cognitive and behavioural approach is, I think, about uncoupling your experience of your symptoms from your reaction to your symptoms – not only your emotional reactions of fear, despair, frustration and so on, but also the urge to interpret, decipher, or reform. It’s not construing your symptoms in any way, while at the same time not suppressing or denying them. It’s the Buddhist attitude of non-attachment and acceptance, really. I can write more about this IAIAICBA (see Glossary).
Will you take a bear?
I’m planning on taking Grey Eeyore, because I enjoy reassuring him, or trying to. I have a thing for downbeat animals. His tail is securely attached and won’t be misappropriated as a bell pull or nurse-calling alarm or something. (Do hospitals have stuff like that?)
Will you take a beer?